Text Leveling System

Your Mother was a Neanderthal

RDQ:	1237	Max Word/Sent	31	Total Words	2919		Diff Words	887
Lex	790	Ave Word/.Sent	7	Hi Freq occurs	2029	69.5%	Hi freq	376	42.4%
AR	4.0	Long Sentences	4.5	Low Freq occurs	168	5.8%	Low freq	125	14.1%

One
It was like nothing on earth we had ever seen
before. Fred Sam and I stood in front of a forest 
of strange trees and giant ferns. A rocky cliff rose
behind us. A volcano smoked ahead of us.
But we didn't really notice any of that at first.
The first thing we noticed was that the three of
us were standing around completely unbelievably
and absolutely naked.
"We lost everything" yelled Fred. He dove
behind the nearest giant fern.
"I don't understand it" said Sam. "This never
happens in those other time travel books."
"So why does it have to happen to us?" asked
Fred. "This is totally embarrassing."
"We didn't lose everything" I said. "Sam still
has his glasses. You've got your hat. And I've
got my straw."]]
  "That's all you have? A straw?" asked Fred. 
"Don't tell me you lost The Book."
"Okay I won't tell you" I said.
"You don't have The Book? Oh man" said 
Fred. "This time we are really cooked. I knew it 
wouldn't work. There is no way we are going to 
find The Book here in the Stone Age. We'll be 
lucky if we find anybody who can even talk."
Sam looked around. "So Okay. Things don't 
look so good."
"Don't look so good?" said Fred. "We have 
to wait a million years for people to invent talking 
writing and then bookmaking. And all you 
can say is things don't look so good?"
"According to my calculations" said Sam 
"we've probably landed in the year 40000 B.C. 
We are completely naked. We have no tools 
weapons or supplies. But we still have one thing." 
"Goosebumps?" said Fred.
"No you jerk. Knowledge. Brainpower. All 
the learning of modern man" said Sam. He 
pointed dramatically toward the smoking volcano. 
"Out there in the prehistoric world we 
can still be kings or at least very popular guys." 
Fred and I looked out over the grassy plain.]]
"Right now I'd settle for some underwear and 
a slice of pizza" said Fred.
Sam pretended he didn't hear that last crack. 
"With our superior brainpower we can recreate 
modern civilization. Observe." He pulled a giant 
leaf from a bush. "Pants."
He held up a piece 
of vine. "Belt."
He tied the leaf on. 
"Clothes."
Fred and I did the same. We looked pretty 
ridiculous. But it was a start on civilization. 
Fred hopped around in his new leaf shorts.]]
"Ug ug. Now we learn Reading and Writing. 
Skip Arithmetic."
A strangled screech echoed in the forest. 
I checked the landscape nervously.
"What about Running and Hiding? It sure 
would spoil my day to get eaten by a dinosaur." 
"No no no" said Sam. "Brainpower. Dinosaurs 
and cavemen never lived at the same time." 
Sam adjusted his leaf. "If this is 40000 B.C. 
dinosaurs have been extinct for 65 million years. 
Cro-Magnon man our direct ancestor should 
just be replacing Neanderthal man."
Sam paused. And at that very second we heard 
a terrified human scream.
"Aha! Man" said Sam.
But then we heard another sound. It was a 
roar. A very large roar. The kind that comes from 
a very large angry and hungry animal.
"I think it's time for a disappearing act" I said. 
"You can do that without The Book?" asked 
Sam.
"Sure" I said diving behind the nearest fern. 
Fred and Sam followed just as a bunch of wild
looking men crashed out of the bushes. They 
wore raggy skins had long scraggly hair and]]
beards and were running as fast as they could. 
"Cavemen" whispered Fred.
The tops of the bushes 
shook and the animal 
that was chasing them 
stuck out its head.
"Dinosaur" 
whispered
Fred.
"Impossible"
 said Sam. 
"Dinosaurs are extinct.'
The big scaly head turned its beady eyes toward 
us and roared.
We backed against the rock wall.
"Why don't you go explain that to him" I 
said. "Then maybe he'll go away."
The dinosaur looked at us and roared again. 
We went to the Stone Age to become kings 
and were about to become lunch.]]
TWO
But I'm getting way ahead of myself (or really 
about 42000 years behind). Let me explain. 
My best friends Sam and Fred were hanging 
around at my house after school as usual. We 
were trying to finish some annoying math homework
- very unusual. If it hadn't been pouring 
rain we'd have been long gone.
"I've got a great idea" said Sam.
"I don't need any great ideas" said Fred. "I 
need the answer to problem 14: ' If Mr. Sleeby 
walks at an average speed of 2.5 miles per hour 
how many miles does he walk in 4 hours?'"
"2.5 miles per hour times 4 hours equals 10 
miles" said Sam. "You see our problem is we've 
been going about this time-travel business all 
wrong. We haven't been using our brains."]]
I looked up. "What do you mean?"
"Well I've been doing a little research reading 
time-travel books-Half Magic Narnia stuff A 
Wrinkle in Time and The Time Machine."
"Hey I saw that movie" said Fred.
"And do you know what people in those books 
always forget?"
"Food" said Fred. "They never eat in those 
books."
"No you Neanderthal" said Sam. "They 
never pack anything useful to take with them. 
Like King Arthur would have been amazed by 
this calculator. The Cheyenne would have been 
wowed by a Walkman."
"And Blackbeard would have loved an F-16" 
said Fred.
Sam frowned. "I'm serious. If we just take the 
right ordinary stuff people will be convinced 
we're magic."
I put down my pencil. "But I just learned this 
great trick" I said. "Watch me roll this straw 
across my desk using only the invisible powers 
in one finger. I won't touch it. Watch. Hocus 
pocus straw move-ocus." The straw rolled 
across my desk with my finger just behind it.]]
"That's very magical" said Fred. "Especially 
the way you blow the straw so it rolls."
"You weren't supposed to see that" I said. "I 
told you to watch my finger."
"But one detail I haven't exactly figured out" 
continued Sam "is how to take The Book with 
us so we can get home whenever we want to." 
"You call that a detail?" said Fred.
"But I think the trick might be to just hang on 
to The Book right when that green time-traveling 
mist starts to swirl around."
"It sounds almost too simple to be true" I said. 
"Sometimes the best ideas are the simplest" 
said Sam. "The ancient Greek mathematician 
Archimedes discovered he could move the world]]
with just a fulcrum a long enough lever and 
a place to stand."
"Archy Meadies?" said Fred. "Wasn't he a 
shortstop for the Cubs?"
Sam frowned.
Fred slapped him with his hat. "Just kidding 
Mr. Brainpower. But what the heck is a fulcrum?" 
Sam flipped over his math homework and 
drew on the back. "The fulcrum is the piece the 
lever rests on. You put the lever under a 
big object and over the fulcrum like this. . ."]]
". . . Pull down the lever. Big object pops up." 
"Fascinating" said Fred with a yawn. "But 
let's get back to time traveling. Where do we go 
next? Ancient Egypt? Outer space? The future?" 
"Well obviously" said Sam adjusting 
his glasses "the farther back in time we go the more 
impressive our things will be."
"Oh obviously" said Fred.
"So if we go back to prehistoric times we will 
be most impressive."
"Oh most impressive" said Fred.
"Actually for once you make great sense" I 
said to Sam. "I guess we were pretty stupid not 
to figure it out sooner."
"Speak for yourself" said Sam.
"Well what are we waiting for?" said Fred. 
"Let's pack up and head for the Stone Age." 
"So what should we take?" I asked. 
"Weapons" said Fred.
"Tools" said Sam.
"What about magic tricks?" I asked. 
"Weapons" said Fred a little louder. 
"Tools" said Sam a little louder.
"Hold it you guys" I said. "Let's split up. 
Everybody take whatever you think is best from]]
the house. We'll meet back here in half an hour." 
"What about your mom?" said Fred. "I'm still 
in trouble for breaking your lamp."
"Don't worry" I said. "She won't be home 
until five. It's only four. We'll take off for the 
Stone Age at four-thirty and be back at-"
"Four-thirty" said Sam. "With plenty of time 
to finish homework for Mr. Dexter and put 
everything back for your mom."
We scattered. And 30 minutes later we 
were standing in my room loaded for time 
travel.
Fred held a slingshot and a barbecue fork. A 
Swiss army knife a water pistol and a Walkman 
hung from his belt. His pockets were stuffed with 
tapes marbles and stick matches.
Sam looked like a walking gadget store. Pens 
can openers potato peelers scissors thermometers 
buckles zippers paper clips safety pins 
hammers pliers and a folding saw hung from 
every available belt loop and pocket.
I wore my magician's top hat and filled my 
pockets with magic rings my wand flash paper 
coins scarves ropes and juggling balls. I held 
The Book with both hands.]]
I looked in the index 
for "Cavemen"
but found only 
"Cave painting
p. 123."
"Time Warp Trio 
prepare to meet 
your ancestors" I 
said and flipped 
The Book open to 
page 123.
There was a 
picture of a cave 
painting with a 
spiral of stars 
moons handprints
and three stick figures. And right on cue the 
green time-traveling mist swirled around our feet. 
"Hang on to that book" said Sam.
"Sam I have to hand it to you" said Fred. 
"Most of the time you are an obnoxious know 
it-all." The mist rose to our necks. "But for once 
in your life you've come up with a great idea."
The mist closed over our heads and we were 
gone to the time before time.]]
THREE
The dinosaur roared and shook the branches. 
"Yeah Mr. Great Idea. Go tell him he's 
extinct" said Fred.
We flattened ourselves against the rock. We 
were trapped.
"Forget talking" whispered Sam. "Joe how 
about some magic? Quick."
I held up my straw.
"I don't think so" said Fred. "Grab these 
rocks. Maybe we can scare it off."
Fred picked up a stone and leaned back to 
throw. That's when his leaf started to slip. The 
dinosaur roared. Fred tried to pull up his leaf 
pants with one hand and throw with the other. 
He hopped on one leg and then crashed into Sam 
and me and knocked us all into a heap. The]]
dinosaur roared again and then suddenly hiccupped 
and laughed.
Sam and I looked at each other. 
The dinosaur laughed.
We all looked closer.
The dinosaur laughed and shook and then lost 
its head. I mean it really lost its head. The head 
fell out of the bushes and rolled down a little 
hill. The bushes kept laughing.
The bushes shook again and three girls stumbled 
out laughing so hard they could hardly 
stand up. They were about the same size as us 
and wore animal-skin dresses. The tallest had 
long wavy red hair. One had short blonde hair 
and a necklace of shells. And the third girl covered 
her eyes and wouldn't look right at us.
We stared at the dinosaur head then the girls. 
The shy one hiccupped and they all cracked up 
again laughing and pointing at us and then the 
head.
"It wasn't that funny" said Fred fixing his 
leaf.
The cavegirl with the necklace seemed to be 
the leader. She calmed her friends down and 
motioned for us to come closer. She sized us up as]]
we approached. The red-haired girl signaled 
something with her hands. Her friends looked at 
us and cracked up again.
"Knock it off" yelled Fred. "Or I'll brain you 
with this rock like I was planning to."
All three girls opened their eyes in surprise. 
They made signs with their hands in front of their 
mouths.]]
Sam imitated the sign and nodded. "Yes we 
talk." He pointed to them. "You talk?"
They looked puzzled.
"Do you have any form of verbal communication?" 
asked Sam. He waved his hands in circles 
under his chin.
The tall red-haired girl nodded. She ran to the 
bushes and came back with a cone-shaped thing 
made of sticks and covered with skin. She lifted 
the small end to her lips and roared a very loud 
and very convincing dinosaur roar.
We all jumped. The girls fell on each other 
laughing again.
"Very funny" said Fred. "We go back to the 
Stone Age to be kings and we wind up doing 
Stupid Human Tricks for cavegirls."
We took a closer look at the dinosaur head. It 
was made out of the same sticks and skin as the 
megaphone. The eyes were clear red stones. The 
teeth were made of sharpened bones.
"Let me try to talk to them" I said. I put one 
hand on my chest. "Joe." I touched Sam. "Sam." 
Then Fred. "Fred." I repeated "Joe. Sam. Fred."
The leader nodded and pointed to us. "Joe. 
Sam. Fred." Then she pointed to herself. "Nat Li." ]]
She held her red-haired friend by the arm. 
"Lin-Say." Then she pointed to her hiccupping 
pal. "Jos-Feen."
I repeated "Nat-Li. Lin-Say. Jos-Feen." 
Nat-Li clapped and smiled. Jos-Feen 
hiccupped again and looked away.
"Hey I think we're talking" said Sam. 
"Isn't that special" said Fred. "Now let's 
invent the alphabet write The Book and get out 
of here."
The girls talked and signed to each other. Then 
Nat-Li spoke to us. "Joe Sam Fred." She 
pointed to the volcano in the distance. "Ma."
"I think they want us to follow them" I said. 
"But what if they're cannibals and are taking 
us home to their mom so she can cook us up for 
dinner?" said Fred.
"Not very likely" said Sam. "Most human 
cultures had very strict taboos against eating 
their own kind."
Something howled in the fern forest behind us. 
"We're not going to find The Book lying 
around here" I said. "And if we do stay here 
we might just end up being someone else's 
dinner."]]
"That could be a problem" said Fred. "Let's 
go see Ma."
Lin-Say picked up her megaphone. Nat-Li and 
Jos-Feen lifted the fake dinosaur head. And we 
followed them toward the smoking volcano.
"I wonder why they were scaring those other 
caveguys away" said Sam. 
I looked at the sharpened bones 
on the dinosaur head bobbing up 
and down ahead of us. I didn't 
want to say anything but
I had an uneasy feeling 
we were about to 
find out why.]]
FOUR
We followed the three girls up a winding path 
through the jungle. They walked quickly and 
silently. We had to run hop and jump to keep up 
with them.
"Ouch.. . oooch ... ahhh ... eee. . ." Sam 
yelped with every step. "My feet are killing me." 
"Invent shoes" said Fred.
"And I hope they work better than these 
pants" I said.
Weird jungle noises surrounded us. Thorny 
branches scratched us. Sharp stones poked our 
feet. In five minutes we were bleeding sore
footed and exhausted.
The girls hiked along like they were strolling 
down a sidewalk.
"Are we there yet?" moaned Sam. 
"I'm hungry" said Fred.]]
"I'm thirsty" I said.
And suddenly we were there-standing at the 
edge of a clearing staring at an opening in the 
white rock cliff.
"A real cave" I said.
"Real cavemen" said Sam. "Who will gladly 
make us their leaders once we bring them 
civilization."
Nat-Li motioned for us to sit down outside. 
Sam and I sat. Lin-Say pushed Fred's head and 
motioned for him to sit too.
"Okay okay. Don't get so pushy" said Fred. 
Lin-Say made a face and imitated Fred. "Okay o
kay."
Jos-Feen laughed. Nat-Li ran into the cave. 
We looked around the clearing and listened to 
the sound of voices in the cave. A blue-gray line 
of smoke from the volcano above us drifted 
across the bottom edge of the sun. A very large 
bird flew in circles high above us.
Fred looked around. "I don't know you guys. 
This looks a bit strange. Where is everybody? 
What's taking so long? They're probably trying 
to decide whether to roast us or boil us. I wish 
I still had my Swiss army knife."]]
"You are so paranoid" said Sam. "I'm sure 
Nat-Li went to tell the leader of her clan that 
she found three magical guys. He's probably just 
getting dressed up in his best outfit to greet us 
and make a good impression. Primitive man 
believed in magic. So try to act magical."
"O-kay o-kay" said Lin-Say.
Nat-Li appeared at the mouth of the cave and 
called "Joe Sam Fred."
Standing next to her was a figure dressed just 
as Sam had predicted in what was definitely the 
clan's best outfit. It was a giant bearskin cape 
trimmed with feathers and topped with a bear
mask hood complete with what looked like the 
original owner's teeth.
"Aha-their leader" said Sam. "Let me do 
the talking."
We stood up and approached the scary-looking 
bear figure trying our best to act magical. 
"Greetings oh powerful leader" said Sam 
raising one hand palm out. "We are men of 
strong magic." Sam flexed both arms. "Who 
have come to give you much knowledge." Sam 
pointed to his head. "Fire. The wheel. Music. 
Cartoons."]]

Subjective Criteria

Illustrations: Little support

Dialog: Multiple speakers

Dialog: Broken dialogue

Dialog: Unlabeled Speaker

Vocabulary: More decoding/definition issues

Language: Few descriptive words

Sentences: Multiple phrases

Text structure: Story/Poem

Inferences: Some implications

Complexity: Several ideas - closely related

Concept: Fanciful

Features

Simple Plot

Difficult names

Topic

Time

*History

Low Frequency Words

absolutely	according	adjusted	adjusting	ancestor
ancestors	approached	archimedes	available	average
bookmaking	brainpower	calculations	calculator	calmed
cannibals	cavegirl	cavegirls	caveguys	chasing
civilization	clan's	communication	convinced	convincing
cue	cultures	disappearing	dramatically	echoed
embarrassing	exhausted	extinct	fascinating	fern
ferns	figures	flexed	footed	fulcrum
future	gadget	goosebumps	haired	handprints
hiccupped	hiccupping	hocus	imitated	impression
impressive	invisible	jos	knowledge	landscape
lever	likely	magical	magician's	mathematician
meadies	megaphone	motioned	naked	neanderthal
necklace	nervously	object	obnoxious	observe
ocus	openers	ordinary	original	ourselves
paranoid	paused	peelers	pistol	pliers
pockets	pocus	pouring	prehistoric	primitive
pushy	raggy	raising	recreate	research
ridiculous	scaly	scaring	scarves	scissors
scraggly	screech	shortstop	signaled	simplest
slingshot	spiral	strolling	superior	supplies
surrounded	swirl	swirled	taboos	terrified
thorny	trio	unbelievably	underwear	verbal
walkman	wand	warp	wavy	weapons
weird	wowed	wrinkle	yawn	yelped